Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Need a ride? Try Lyft - I could be your driver

This is a new "side" venture for me.  I get $$$ if I refer people to either drive or take rides with Lyft, so make sure you click on the link below if you are interested in doing either.

Thanks,
Jennifer


Get Discounted/Free Rides

Thursday, January 26, 2017

You're Never Too Old To Learn

I'm killing two birds with one stone.  No, not literally, but I am doing TWO things that I NEED to do, at the same time.

I want to learn more about nutrition and write for my blog, so, I thought that in order to hold myself accountable for both, I would do some blog posts about what I learn.

I was always a skinny kid with high metabolism who never really worried about eating right.  Eating vegetables was not my priority or my desire.  In fact, I would sit at the table, like most kids who do not want to eat their food, and waste time until my family would get tired of seeing me there and take my plate.  I also used to throw my peas under the table in hopes that my little white dog would eat them.  Well, apparently, my aim was not so good, because she would give me up by trotting around with peas on top of her head.

As a 40ish-old woman who now weighs considerably more, who has type 2 diabetes and who still doesn't like vegetables, I find myself teetering on obesity and a life of hospital stays.  Due to a recent bacterial infection, I lost 24 pounds in 3 months and now that I am getting healthy again, I don't want to gain the weight back.  Now couldn't be a better time to make some changes!

I'm going to be learning out of two awesome books: The Complete Idiot's Guide To Total Nutrition written by Joy Bauer, M.S., R.D. and Nutrition For Dummies written by Carol Ann Rinzler.

Stay tuned to learn with me!

Thursday, January 19, 2017

REPOST: How To Delegate



We all get to be the boss sometime in our life, whether it be with our work, our school, in our homes or with our children. Being a leader has it's challenges. There is a job that has to get done and you either need help with it or you need someone else to complete the task. There is a certain way the project needs to get done and usually a time frame that has to be met. Knowing how to ask for that help and see that the project gets carried out is a skill some people need a little help with.

#1: Describe the job and the outcome that needs to be reached. For example: "Today, we need to get this mailing out to all of our clients."

#2: Specify who's responsible for meeting this goal: "I would appreciate your help in spearheading this project and seeing that it gets completed today. Can you please take care of this?"

#3: Describe the steps that need to be completed so that the project is successful: "It's important that we make enough copies of this memo so that all of our clients receive it. We will need to put it on letterhead, prepare labels and envelopes and tri-fold the memo so that it fits in the envelope. Then, let's make sure that the correct postage gets applied and that the mail is done before the carrier arrives at 4:00 pm."

#4: Ask if there are any questions or concerns with accomplishing the task: "Do you have any questions? Do you think that you will be able to get this mailing out by 4:00 pm today?"

As the employee being given the task, this would be the time for you to clarify the instructions to make sure that you understand everything that is being asked. Far too many times, employees feel intimidated and they proceed with a project without fully understanding what needs to be done. This leads to mistakes and delays in completing assignments.

#5: Make yourself available to the employee and check on their progress.

#6: When you see that the job is completed, praise your employee: "I see you got those memos out. Thank you so much for taking care of that, you did a really good job. Those memos were really important."

The steps above can be applied to any sort of delegation, whether it be asking your kids to do a chore or working with groups for community service. Following these steps will help make you an effective delegator.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Codependency - Here's What I Have Learned

I used to know someone who had an addictive personality.

He chose to deal with things by relying on something to ease the pain of life, depression, suicidal tendencies and while doing so, it helped him deal with my co-dependency.  We both were aware of his issues and I always thought I was the one to live with the burden of his addiction.  I felt so much love for him that I made his problems mine, because both of us took on each others pain, depression, etc.  In a healthy relationship, when one is down, the other is there to lift them back up and help them see things differently.  We did not function that way.  

I found myself so tired of taking on his emotions and trying to walk on egg shells to keep him from going over the edge.  Things that bothered me were not talked about, I learned to keep them in.  Too long of doing this causes resentment and detachment.

What I haven't mentioned is that, he never asked me to take these things on.  There is no fault or blame today.  I struggled silently with my own pain and depression and, unknowingly, my own co-dependency.  It's so much easier to avoid your own issues when you are so focused on making someone else better and then resenting them for their mistakes.

If you are like me and have misconceptions or are unsure of what it means to be codependent, let me give you it's meaning:

A codependent person is one who has let another
person's behavior affect him or her, and who is
 obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.




So all those times that I prided myself on being a caring, compassionate, empathetic person, I was taking it a little too far.  I worried so much about trying to do the right thing in my relationship and for my kids, that I just needed to step back and let the man that I still, to this day love, handle his own shit!




Friday, February 12, 2016

Great New Song - Burning House, CAM




"Burning House"


I had a dream about a burning house
You were stuck inside, I couldn't get you out
I laid beside you and pulled you close
And the two of us went up in smoke

Love isn't all that it seems I did you wrong
I'll stay here with you until this dream is gone

I've been sleepwalking, been wandering all night
Trying to take what's lost and broke and make it right
I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight
In this burning house

See you at a party and you look the same
I could take you back but people don't ever change
Wish that we could go back in time
I'd be the one you thought you'd find

Love isn't all that it seems I did you wrong
I'll stay here with you until this dream is gone

I've been sleepwalking, been wandering all night
Trying to take what's lost and broke and make it right
I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight
In this burning house

The flames are getting bigger now
In this burning house
I can hold on to you somehow
In this burning house
Oh, and I don't wanna wake up
In this burning house

And I've been sleepwalking, been wandering all night
Trying to take what's lost and broke and make it right
I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight
In this burning house

Friday, January 15, 2016

Article Share: 4 Reasons Honest Men Give To End It






Because I recently went through a divorce, I of course subscribed to all sorts of blogs and websites to help me through the pain that a break-up can cause.  With that, some articles that I have read are helpful and I thought I would share one that I read this evening.

It is from the website, Relationship Rules . The article is titled: 4 Reasons Honest Men Give To End It.  This is written by "A", one of the co-founders of the website.

This article spoke to me because it is about being with someone who chooses to be honest about their feelings, about why they feel their relationship is not working, and being a grown-up and facing uncomfortableness.  I believe that honesty is really the key point that I think too many people are afraid of.  It's easier to either sweep problems under the rug, avoid conflict or just continue to not be a happy person in the relationship.

Back to the article.  I feel these reasons are about the behavior in which an honest man displays, not necessarily the reason they give to their partner.

Reason #1 an honest man gives to end it: They want everything on the table.  "A" describes that part of this has to do with not placing blame on just one person and that if you talk about all issues, the couple will realize that it is just not "one person's fault".

Reason #2 an honest man gives to end it: They don't like the blame game. Accepting fault is a true quality of an honest man.  I agree with this statement.  SOME men live with blinders about how "wonderful" their relationship is, when all the while they are unhappy and are too afraid to admit it.  This might lead to conflict and having to face fears and issues.

Reason #3 an honest man gives to end it: They care for you to have closure.  "A" says that an honest guy will always have the guts to say goodbye and they will not just disappear from facing the problem. They would never leave you hanging in between thinking what went wrong and where.  Personally, I would have appreciated this happening in one of my relationship break-ups.  Instead, being left with anger and hurt and never getting to "hash" things out and "deal" with issues has left me angry.

Reason #4 an honest man gives to end it: They respect you, still. They will never disrespect the good memories you had by leaving like a coward or like someone who wanted to run away. They will respect the fact that there are a few explanations to be given and few to be listened to.  This is SPOT on!!!

Check out the article at Relationship Rules


Friday, December 25, 2015

Re-Post: I Am A Lane Blocker


As some of you may recall, I recently posted about teamwork and how I love to see people come together for a cause. Today's cause that I am excited to talk about is "lane blocking". What is lane blocking? It's something we all have either done or wished we had done when we get stuck in traffic. Let me paint the picture:

Here you are, tooling along on your way to work, making excellent time, thinking about how you will definitely be there before your boss today. The windows are rolled down, the birds are chirping, the air is crisp and refreshing, today is a good day. All of a sudden, you come to a complete stop. A stop that seems to last a lifetime. You try to see around the gigantic truck in front of you with no luck. You see the people in the lane to your right, flying by, as if they are privileged to not have to get stuck where you are. You think, "I want to be like them, I want to go!" No luck, they are driving as if they are in the Indy 500, not allowing you in, leaving you stuck with exhaust from the truck in front of you. So, you sit, and eventually are able to move forward. As you do this, you realize that your once excited, happy mood has been replaced by an anxious, frustrated one. "I am going to be SO late!", you think. As you move forward, you notice a merge sign up ahead, stating that everyone is merging into your lane. Now, I think you understand where I am going with this, right? The mean people, who flew by with no regard to anyone else, they saw this sign and knew that they would not wait as long as you. They wiggle their way into the front of the line, in front of everyone else who has waited their turn.

I don't know about you, but this really chaps my hide! But wait, there is a happy ending:

Take the above example, except I am the driver, stuck behind the truck. One day, I saw a woman in front of me start to head into that right lane, the one that was going to have to merge. As she attempted her journey, I thought, "Where is she going, doesn't she know that she is going to have to get over? Figures!" But to my surprise, she ended up sitting half way into the next lane, but just enough to ward off any passers. "Wow," I thought, "She is fighting back! She is the protector of all good and is here to help us!" I immediately put my car in the same position and noticed others following suit. At that time, I felt proud to be a part of such teamwork! And today, I was the fearless leader, watching others back me up. What a great feeling! Oh, by the way, I got to work before my boss.