Saturday, October 27, 2007
I guess we are all accused of living in the past at some point in our lives. Well, why the heck would we NOT live in the past? The past is where everything has happened. It's where we have been hurt, learned about regret, had our hearts broken, made mistakes and lost trust. Our natural instinct is to protect ourself and put our guard up. And we learn from our mistakes and try not to make them again. I think that it is important to remember the past, but I guess the compromise, or the healthy way is to keep a handle on HOW much we think about the past. No one will ever move on with their life and learn to enjoy and live if they only look behind them. I must learn to keep all this in mind and allow things to happen and realize I cannot control the future, I can only hope for the best.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Ever since we were little, we searched for approval to make ourselves feel better. We may not have been aware of how important it was or that we were even looking for it. When we heard that "Atta Girl" or "Way to Go" or even better, "Good Job!" it made us feel so wonderful. The start of this need for approval began and continues throughout our lives.
Many people brag about their accomplishments so that they can receive the praise they are searching for. Others sit back and wait and hope that someone notices. When we hear something other than praise, it can be devastating. And what about when we do something we know will not win the approval of others? This is when lying comes into play. We have all lied to hide a mistake or to keep something from someone we respect. We respect those people for their opinions, but don't want to hear about it when we are wrong. We are so funny that way.
What happens when you are living your life the way YOU want to and don't expect any one's criticism or approval, and you get it anyway? Say for instance, from your boss, parent's or in-laws. That's when you have just got to hold your tongue and change the subject!!!!!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
There have been countless debates about parenting styles and practices over the years. From era to era you have to admit, things have definitely changed. I believe that children raised in the 50's, 60's and 70's experienced things a whole lot differently than the kids raised later. It seems that kids raised in the 70's made some pact or vow to be COOL parents and raise our kids with not so many rules. I may be wrong, but the way I was raised back then was perfect. Rules and structure and discipline worked wonders. I was a good kid and teenager. I respected my elders, I did not talk back, I hardly used profanity and I was not promiscuous.
Now days, it seems as if the kids my children play with are from another planet. They are rude, they don't have any manners, they don't listen and they are lazy. I wish my peers would see that there was nothing wrong with the way they were raised. Bring back the days of spankings for horrible behavior, the teaching of manners and respect and the limited time on the computer/video game machine and television. Give them structure and routines and schedules. Talk to them, listen to them and spend time with them. Don't use the television to baby-sit your kids. Stimulate them as people and give them praise and love as much as possible. There is nothing wrong with trying to not be like your parents, but if you turned out okay, then maybe they did did it right!!!!!
This is my baby. He is growing up and becoming a person and I am so scared.
Boys are foreign to me. I don't know boys. How are they supposed to be here in the 2000's? Are they supposed to be obsessed with video games and not want to do anything else? Are they supposed to pick on their older sister? Are they supposed to be moody and depressed about going to school? Are they supposed to not listen? How do you make sure you are doing the right things in raising them? My son is so different from my daughter. Is it fair that I expect him to be as easy to raise and as responsible as his sister - I think not. With my daughter, she was open to my corrections of her attitude and behavior and how to be a person. I would tell her once and she would listen. With Colton, I feel like all I ever do is try to teach and all he ever does is get frustrated with me.
When the kids were little, I read book after book about babies and how to handle them. I guess it's time to open some up again and figure this out. I am tired of feeling guilty. I think I need more alone time with this foreign person so that I can really get to know him and see how he works.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
There comes a time in all of our lives when we have to agree to take a chance on something. It may be that we buy that dollar lottery ticket, drink the milk that's expired or drive a different route to work. Regardless, we are taking a chance on change, newness and the un-known and with that, we have to TRUST.
How far are we willing to go to trust our instincts? We may trust our health our finances or our reputation and so on. But what happens when we decided to trust our heart????? Hmmmmm..... that's a tough one. No matter how well we know ourselves, our heart has it's own agenda and doesn't always listen to logic.
Your heart may have been taken out, thrown to the ground, stomped on and broken. You may have felt that you would never be able to use it again. And, as time goes on, you have to learn to let it live, breath and trust. It's one of the most difficult things in the world to do. And, when you are face-to-face with the person who abused your heart and they are asking if they can help fix what they did to it and nurture it back to health, are you willing to take that chance?