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Saturday, February 7, 2009

Facebook - A Place To Meet Friends I Never Had



I put off using Facebook for as long as I could. Since this year is my 20th high school reunion, I was contacted by several people who encouraged me to join the social networking site. Once on there, I felt like I was back in high school, hoping that I would be accepted and acknowledged. High school was a time in my life that I wanted to put behind me. I was not ready for this kind of "popularity contest".

Don't get me wrong, high school was not that bad. I was never "in a clique" like many people were. I was a loner, a person who did not hang out with a crowd of people, but who kept to herself. This is not to say that I did not have friends and that I wasn't an outgoing person. I simply was not committed to being with one group of people. I knew a lot of people and a lot of people knew me.

With Facebook, you have the option to message someone before asking if you can be their friend. The message allows you to write something personal to perhaps remind the person of who you are or if you don't know someone, it is a way to introduce yourself. I like this option. There are people who simply click the "add as friend" option with the hopes that they will be remembered and accepted. There are also people who do this to completely random people they don't know in hopes of building their "friend" network. This just simply is not for me. If I do not know you or if you do not make an effort to get to know me by sending me a message, I will not accept your friend request. I don't want to just be a part of someone's list who doesn't even care who I am or what I am about. I am simply a number to them. In this day and age, there are plenty of cyber stalkers out there that just don't need this encouragement.

Maybe I am looking at this wrong, but I simply want to use my Facebook as a way to re-connect with people who made an impact in my life. I also like to use it to stay connected with my current social network. Do you use Facebook? What do you think about it?

14 comments:

*Lindsey* said...

I would never use facebook or myspace...not for me. I have stayed connected with everyone I care about. All of friends are starting to use facebook more and more though.

Danifer said...

Dan finally bit the bullet and started using fb last week. He has always been against ms & fb because he thought they were meat markets. He saw though, by looking at my fb, that he could re-connect with people from CO. So, now we both use it and there is nothing to hide, so it's cool.

PS. Glad to hear your dr. apt. went better than you expected.

Jen Bundy said...

I too don't want to have a bunch of "friends" just for the sake of friends. I am very selective and think I only have 20 friends total. It may be a good place for me to start dating when my divorce is over. Who knows.

Danifer said...

Jen,

The funny thing about high school is that we were all forced to be in one place because that was what we "had to do". When you are a grown up, we make our choices of who to spend time with. Between family, work and life, it can be hard to make or keep friends. For that matter, it's equally tough being single. I think fb will be a good outlet for you to get to know a support unit that will help you through everything and perhaps you will meet Mr. Right.

Natural said...

I'm FaceBook challenged. I haven't figured it all out, but I log on once in a while. I really don't want to reconnect with my school friends or maybe just a few people. I know how you feel though about adding people just to boost numbers, I prefer to "know" the person I'm befriending or at least through a referral.

Jannie Funster said...

You so sound like me in high school, an outgong loner!

I love Facebook for meeting long-lost cousins and cousins I never even knew I had through other cousins. (My parents came from large families, respectively.)

Danifer said...

Natural,

I know what you mean. There is so much to look at, it can be quite challenging to anyone. And it tends to draw you in out of curiosity.

Good to see you!

Danifer said...

Jannie,

It sounds like you have lots of cousins. I think fb is a great way to connect with people. I am surprised at how many people have come out of the woodwork (me included).

Hope all is well with you. I have stopped by your blog, but have not had a chance to comment.

TJACKwellness.com said...

I avoided it for a long time too. I thought it was a bunch of teens and teen predators. But a friend convinced me to join and I have reconnected with a bunch of people that I never thought I would hear from again. It's nice! But I'm with you, if I don't know you, I'm not friending you.

Danifer said...

TJack:

Welcome, nice to meet you. You touched upon a good point. I believe that Myspace is leaning more toward what you were describing and Facebook is more for "grown ups" who just want to socialize with people from the past or connect with other busy people.

VeRonda said...

Yeah, I haven't gotten into the whole thing, either. I may try one of these days, but it just seems like another thing to try and keep up with. I don't know...

Danifer said...

VeRonda,

Good morning. Thanks for visiting. I know exactly what you mean about feeling like FB is just one more thing to keep up with. I find myself logging on several times a day to keep track of these people whom I haven't known in twenty years, but all of a sudden, I can't wait to see what is going on in their lives. I think I need a hobby... lol.

Annie Anderson said...

I don't really like myspace.... too much crap on there. But I do like facebook. I use it a lot! I've been able to reconnect with lots of people I lost touch with when my parents made us MOVE between my freshman and sophomore years.

And I've met lots of business connections there. Plus, like Jannie said, it's a great place to connect with extended family that live far away.

I do friend people I don't know but like I said, most are business connections and the like so I'm okay with it.

It's been a while since I stopped by . . . too busy!

Danifer said...

Howdy Annie,

You are right about using FB for business connections. I understand many a good deals have been formed from fb introductions.